Professional Suicide
For context, this biblical narrative is found in Daniel 3.
INTRO
I recently had to tell my boss that I failed to do something. I had to write the email without knowing how they’d react, or what the consequences would’ve been…
I was asked to do a presentation at a professional development meeting for music teachers to share information on a music software notation website. So I did. I showed off some student work, some of my own work, answered questions and had a nice, productive session that went really smoothly.
but the ONE thing I forgot to do was to take attendance! and my boss had specifically reminded me to do that right before I started. Unfortunately, I was so caught up with presenting that I simply forgot to do it… and when I realized it I was a little frustrated with myself, because I knew I had dropped the ball.
I had a few options:
-I could just ignore, not report, pretend it didn’t happen, hope he didn’t notice (not a good idea…)
-I could lie and say something “happened,” like the computer crashed, the internet froze, something like that
~ OR ~
-I could simply tell the truth and admit I was wrong! even knowing full well that this was a big deal and that I would have to suffer consequences because of it.
…I would have to suffer for integrity’s sake if I were to take that part. and that’s exactly what I did.
I stepped up and told the truth. wrote that email. I apologized, and thank goodness that my boss didn’t fire me or punish me in any severe way.
there was grace for me~
because it turns out his Zoom application somehow automatically recorded the attendees, so I got lucky.
But, it was really hard for me to make that decision.
I know it sounds like an exaggeration, but in some work places, that’s considered ‘profession suicide’ to tell on yourself! because you could lose your job… some bosses fire you right away. some places write you up in a permanent file on your record— any of these scenarios are unfortunate, but I was able to do the scary thing anyway, and I told on myself.
You know, integrity is casually defined as doing the right thing, but it’s not just doing the right thing.
It’s doing the right thing for the right reasons. Integrity is not just telling the truth when it’s convenient— it’s telling the truth because it aligns with our values of honesty and truth.
So we do what we know we’re supposed to regardless whether or not people are looking, or whether or not people know, regardless if they find out or not…
Integrity is doing the right thing EVEN IF.
EVEN IF it’ll cost you your reputation
EVEN IF you’ll get in trouble when they find out
EVEN IF it means going against your parents
EVEN IF it’s controversial—
Indeed, on some occasions it will cause suffering, but the idea is to believe in the principle so strongly that it outweighs the pain we might receive as a consequence.
and I know this job incident is a very small, specific example in my life, but here’s the thing:
you know exactly what integrity looks like in your life
because for me, it might mean being more honest on the job
but for you, it might be coming clean with the money thing
for him, it might be respecting women, especially when he sees they’re drunk…
for her it might be no longer cheating on school assignments
and for them it may be not lying about the severity of a health condition
So the formula is:
integrity EVEN IF “x”
integrity EVEN IF [blank].
integrity no matter what. that’s how strong our convictions need to be on telling the truth!
you know the phrase, “the truth shall set you free”? it works every time.
every. single. time.
it’s applicable every time!
it may feel like suicide, but it actually liberates you and separates you from the devil, the father of lies!
-> this is part of our responsibility as Christians, to stand up for what’s right EVEN IF. This is what the 3 Hebrew boys were up against.
STORY
In the book of Daniel, we learn about 3 Hebrew boys who were asked to bow down to some golden statue at a time when everyone else was doing it. The consequences of not bowing down was death by fiery furnace. Yet the three refused to bow down, and decided to maintain their allegiance to the true and living God, despite the consequences.
See, these boys had that EVEN IF kind of loyalty. They literally told the King to his face (!) that their God would be able to save them, and that even if He didn’t, they would STILL not bow down to the golden image!
That’s a powerful stance to take: like EVEN IF he doesn’t bail me out this month, I’m still not gonna give up on God. EVEN IF he doesn’t come through with that blessing, with that job, with my petition in this season. Can you say ‘I will be content in every circumstance’?
So the whole way to the fiery furnace, these three stood firm in their convictions and entered on in, even as the flames were turned up seven times hotter than usual. The fire actually killed the soldiers who escorted the three, as they went in.
What an incredible act of courage and bravery! It was almost a kind of holy suicide* …one that God himself would approve of.
*It’s important to note that here, we don’t speak of the common idea of suicide. The self-sacrifice in this story is different in that it resembles other examples we find in the Bible, such as the life of Jesus, and the kind of self-sacrifice that will be required of those who endure the great tribulation. These self-sacrifices are a cornerstone of Christianity, and illustrate what Jesus meant when He commands His followers to pick up their cross and to follow him.
***
Indeed, the path to the fiery furnace was simply a consequence of their integrity.
And instead of the story ending with their death, we read that the boys come out of furnace unbound, unharmed, without even the smell of fire on them!
And if that wasn’t enough supernatural activity, the King and his men looked inside the furnace and noticed a fourth person in the fire, which they said looked like a son of the gods!
Surely, the miraculous was occurring right before their very eyes, and they had no choice but admit that their God was worthy of praise, as He was able to save like no other!
***
Now, the three Hebrew boys demonstrated exemplary character on many levels, but do you know why the intimidation of the King didn’t work on them?
Do you know why their death threats didn’t bother them?
It was because they knew they were standing up for what was right. they knew it would be worth it to sacrifice and to suffer for what’s right.
As mentioned above, that’s essentially what we are all called to do: to follow the steps of our master. He leads the way with the cross and we follow.
And here’s the thing, the cross isn’t even that heavy, but it’s not about that.
It’s where you’re taking the cross. It’s what it means to take it all the way up to the hill, to crucify your flesh. To kill your own former self.
So we take our cross all the way. ALL the way there, like Jesus did. and we should be willing to die for his namesake.
PROFESSIONAL SUICIDE
I’m reminded of Abraham when God had told him to grab his son to sacrifice him on a 3-day journey at Mount Moriah. And Abraham without flinching or doubting, he got up the next morning and he just went with his son. He set up camp the first night, set up camp the second night and the third day he went up the mountain and tied up his own son (his only son!) to be sacrificed. He was willing to sacrifice his own son…!
It wasn’t until he had the knife up in his hand, ready for the kill that the Angel of the Lord stops him and tells him, “don’t do it... because now I know that you fear the Lord.”
And like ok, but if I was Abraham I would ask, “wait NOW you know?? …NOW you know??” Like you didn’t know when I stepped foot outside my house the next day with my kid; you didn’t know when I set camp the first day or the second day, or when I tied up my own son at the altar…???”
and I can imagine that the 3-day journey gave him more than enough time to doubt and second-guess himself and to ask “wait but was it really God who spoke…?”
Literally Abraham was willing to go all the way… he was willing to go all the way…
Abraham was in the same position as the Hebrew boys. See, Abraham and the Hebrew boys, they walked towards a literal death. It was a preview of what Christ would do.
The three Hebrew boys came out unharmed, unaffected.
Abraham’s son came out unharmed, unaffected.
And finally, despite whippings and lashes and a crucifixion, JESUS also came out of the grave (!) …
unharmed. and unaffected!!
What they enacted was a preview of what Jesus did upon his death and resurrection. Literally the grave couldn’t hold him, death couldn’t hold him. He told death, ‘where is your victory? where is your sting?’
He conquered the grave and death itself, y’all. That’s our God !
In the Bible, the apostle Paul also says we have to crucify our flesh, those fleshly desires to just sin all of the time recklessly… and while it’s a tough thing to accomplish, I invite you to commit this holy, professional suicide.
What is professional suicide? well it’s not regular suicide. that’s easy. that’s just giving up—
And I don’t mean to to be insensitive to those struggling with these incredibly tough battles. I do, however, want to make a strong distinction from that act and what we’re proposing here.
Professional suicide is a spiritual discipline. It’s legitimate. It takes skill and restraint… It’s hard work! and it’s not just that our flesh is being killed, it’s us willingly killing our own flesh! voluntarily…! that’s professional suicide.
and why “professional”? because it is our job as Christians to carry our cross like Jesus did.
it’s a hard thing to do, it really is. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a hard thing to choose to suffer this way, to do this to ourselves.
but thankfully, the best part is that God promises to be there with us, through it all.
So we Do have help. We don’t have to go through it alone, because God promised to be with us.
OBJECT PERMANENCE
I’m gonna close with this idea that was introduced to me by a friend. She taught me about object permanence, which is the understanding that an object or person continues to exist, even if one cannot see it. The classic example is the game of “peek-a-boo” where one covers their face and uncovers it, to a baby’s delight. The surprise happens when the child realizes your face was hiding behind your hands the whole time. So it’s like knowing there’s a thing behind a thing. It’s pretty intriguing to know that something might be there the whole time, in the background, whether or not you could perceive it—
Now it says in the scripture that the King saw a fourth person in the fiery furnace. and I just find it so interesting that it says the King noticed the fourth guy; it says the advisers noticed the fourth guy; but at no point does it say the 3 Hebrew boys noticed the fourth person.
But He was there even if they didn’t see. He was there the whole time, like He always is.
Deuteronomy 31:6 says the Word says that Lord, your God will not leave you or forsake you
Psalms 27:10 says though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
Matthew 28:20 Jesus says that surely I am with you always, to the end of the age, to the end of the world, to the end of time (depending on which translation you’re reading). Geez, what a promise! That He’ll be with us forever !
***
I just wanna encourage you, that no matter what it looks like— even when we’re going through the fire, even in depression, anxiety, financial problems, marriage problems, school problems, life problems, He promises to be with us through it all.
So we Do have help. We Do have a comforter, a confidant, someone who cares, someone who listens—
We’re just lucky to have access to the greatest friend ever,
and His name is Jesus.
I just wanna encourage you that He’s there, even if it doesn’t look like it. Even in our worst moments, he’s there with you right there in the fire…
Stay strong, and believe it!!